Letter to my sweet heart

Hey, my love,

How are you? My vagus nerve signals that I’m thinking of you, and even my sympathetic nerve releases adrenaline, making me eager to see you. I hope you're not letting acetylcholine take over and thinking about your ex. If that's the case, my adrenal glands will release epinephrine, and I'll end up like Amir Khan in Ghajini, so please don’t break my heart. Yesterday, when you were upset with me, my heart raced faster than radio waves, and I immediately felt guilty. So, sweetheart, don’t break my heart, or my heart valves might murmur.

I still remember the time when I was speeding on my bike at 60 km/h, and you hugged me so tightly that I could feel my breathing change, like a redox reaction. When I'm with you, it feels like we're the only two beings in this world. Please, always be by my side and never deceive me. When you get too close, I feel like my X chromosomes start turning into XXY, and I feel like I'm suffering from Klinefelter's syndrome like I'm about to make a big mistake. And every time I fall for you, my cerebellum helps me keep balance, and my semicircular canals keep me standing in front of you.

I’ll never forget the time I cut my hand and wrote your name. Suddenly, my mast cells released heparin, and vena contracta prevented my blood from overflowing. Thromboplastin then helped to stop the bleeding. Can’t you see how much I love you? Don’t your 20 amino acids coded with 64 codons feel the same? Why do you always seem to hate me?

When I breathe, my medulla oblongata always whispers your name. I can’t lose you. If I were an inorganic substance, I’d preserve you like a fossil for years. Whenever you say my name, my cochlea dances, and I feel like I’m in heaven. If you ever leave me, I’ll destroy my T4 cells, and I’ll be lost without you.

Sweetheart, please don’t make our love story as brief as the M-phase in the cell cycle. Always stay in my heart like magnesium in chlorophyll. Darling, always be my shade like sciophytes. Please think positively of me with your multipolar neurons. You’re so hot that not even a pyrometer can measure your temperature.

I don’t want our relationship to be weak like a hydrogen bond; it should be as strong as a metallic bond. Now, my cerebrum tells me to stop before I say too much. It says this is enough to win you, so I’ll say goodbye for now.

Love you always.